I posted this on a board I frequent. Upon further review, I actually like it, which is very rare for me. So without gilding the Lily further....
I'm 38 and the last five years have been difficult. I may sound sanctimonious, but please don't take it that way, the following advice isn't offered because 'I did it right' but because I did it wrong and I regret it and wish I could go back and do it over.
Leave People Better Than You Find Them. It shames me to admit it, but when I was younger, I really was a shitty guy. As Kant opined, people are ends unto themselves, not means, treat them as such. If you're going to spend any significant amount of time with someone, they are gracing you with their presence, and probably their affection. Be worthy of it, and return it. Do what you can to make their life better for having invested in you.
Repair the Relationships That Are Broken, and Be Sure Of Ending The Ones That Can't Be Repaired. I waited til the eleventh hour to 'fix' the relationship with my father. I can't tell you how lucky I am that I knew my father was passing, and I got this opportunity. Don't be an asshole like me and wait, you may be too late. In the same vein, if a relationship is toxic, and you're sure it is, politely extricate yourself and move on. It is a blessing to both of you, whether you know it or not.
Art, Music, Literature and Beauty Are Important. I contend the only thing that separates us from the other species is Art. The expression of our collective predicament, the commentary on our knowledge that we too will pass. I can't give you a well articulated reason as to why these things are important, I can only say they are. As to beauty, it can be found all around you.
Courtesy and Class Never Go Out of Style. I am a very salty individual. I probably tell my wife to 'fuck off' at least 5 times a day. I do it out of love and humor (and she knows it, and actually invites it because she just laughs at me), but in public, she's my Queen. As to the public at large, they are people whom are just like you. You walk in their shoes. Remember that.
Dare to Follow Your Dreams. Most of you, like it or not, are going to end up an old fuck like me. Doing something you dislike makes life an eternity. I would urge you, to the degree possible, to find something you really like to do when you're younger and adjust your lifestyle accordingly. Maybe it means you have less things, maybe it means you won't have the huge house. I recently eschewed my 'big job' for one that is paying far less. As I said, I'm 38, and have been carded in the past month 3 times because the stress is gone. That said:
Financial Smarts Are Important. As others said, get a budget and adjust your lifestyle. It took me waaaaaaay too long to figure this one out.
Don't Wait To Stand Up For Yourself. I used to think that standing up for yourself meant getting angry. I was wrong. As others have said, don't be afraid of telling someone, in a nice way, that you don't like the way they are treating you. They may change, and if they don't, you know to walk away.
Perfectionism Is A Hollow Mistress. You are going to make mistakes. I recently deleted 90 pages of a book I'm working on because I couldn't stand it. It wasn't perfect. Nothing ever will be, we live in a world of imperfection, don't let the flaws stop you. Again, this was hard earned experience.
Always Be You. Maybe you're inconsistent. Maybe you're not. But whatever you are, try to be true to that. Unless you're an asshole like me, but I believe everyone is capable of change and being a better person. I also believe that the better you is the real you. Find him. Be him. Or her.
Don't Be Afraid to Ask For Help. I've tried to tough many things out on my own, not being willing to admit that whatever task I was undertaking was beyond my abilities. Learn a bit of humility and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it. Life is tough, we're in this mess together.
Always Leave the Other Guy An Out With Honor. Never corner someone into a position that they can't potentially leave the situation with grace or dignity. If they choose not to, that's on them.
Finally:
Everyone Gets Low, Try to Help Them Up. Be that guy. Everyone needs a lift, they're having a rough day, they're dog died, whatever, we've all been there. Be the person to look at that person on the ground and say 'hey, here's a hand up.'
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