Do Unto Others...Before They Do Unto You.

The above title is an actual response I made to a question on a board I post on. The question was 'Sum up in one line what you learned in 2009.'

And I posted 'Do Unto Others...Before They Do Unto You.'

An hour or so later, I looked at it and though 'wow, that's really snarky, even coming from you.'

So where did it come from?

I've worked for the same firm pretty much since I finished up a clerkship. It's been 8 long years. During 7 of those 8 years, we were a very busy firm. There were a couple of cases that kept things moving along.

One of the things about practicing law that you find out pretty quickly is your time is never really your own. Sure, you can make plans, look forward to vacations, and anticipate holidays with friends and families. But there is always the potential for something to come along and ruin your best laid plans.

The flip side of this, at least, what you're told when you have to cancel yet another evening out, is that you're paying your dues. Since time immemorial, this is how the legal business worked. The new guys get shit on while the old guys enjoy the fruits of their labors. What many people don't realize is that for a lot of years, Law was nothing more than a Ponzi scheme. The idea being that the partners brought in the business and the lower level associates did all the grunt work, cranking out the billable hours til they would one day be elevated to partner.

Starting in the 80's, this whole paradigm that ran the heart of the legal community changed. It became more and more of a business. This is not to say it hasn't happened in other industries, I would suspect that it has, but it outlined what has become a glaringly flaw in the law. Or at least, so I thought. And that flaw?

No loyalty. Now many will say that 'Honor Among Thieves' is always skitchy at best, non-existent at worst.

Last year, at around this time, we were wrapping up our largest case. Waiting in line were a bunch of cases that I had kept alive pending the time to wrap those up. So for the next two months, I was pretty busy finishing up a lot of cases that I hadn't had the time to finish. Then May and June hit, and I started saying things to my wife like 'honey, I don't know what the hell I'm going to do this week.' Keep in mind, this was six months into the recession. Lawyers were losing their jobs, summer associates were actually being paid NOT to work, and firms were starting to go under.

It all came to a head in late July. My boss comes in my office and tells me 'I'm cutting your hours, I'm switching you to an hourly pay, no vacation, no sick time.'

Bam. For the first five years of my work here, I missed numerous holidays and didn't take a proper vacation. In fact, the first vacation I took as an employee was when I got married the year before. All that paying dues, down the drain. And the really insidious side of it is such a move wouldn't be necessary if we had the work. So by switching me to hourly, it was a double whammy. Not enough work to justify a salary means probably not enough work on an hourly basis to make up the difference. I figured it out the other day and I make 66% of what I made a year ago. A lot of people would think that's a good thing, because I'm a lawyer, but what people don't realize is how shitty the pay is for most lawyers. And ultimately, I'm lucky to have a job. I've sent countless resumes and not received one call. I've heard stories that for each job listing, hundreds of resumes are received within minutes. That's how bad things are.

Hence, I couldn't find anything to supplement my income and went back to the only other skill I have, cooking. Cranking it out at $8 an hour. Long weekends. I work more now than I did at the height of practicing law and make far less.

Loyalty. Where did it go? I don't know, but ultimately, I guess I learned the hard way what so many have learned by my age: you have to be careful whom you are loyal to. And I find this carries over into my other job too. So I am going to guess that this is a universal workplace thing. Loyalty. To whom and how much?

I almost gave notice at my cooking job last week.

Generally, there were three of us working on Friday and Saturday nights. The typical Friday, I was 'long relief' - I stay until the closer cuts me, usually between 10 and 11. I close Saturdays. Anyway, that was the way it was supposed to go. At least four weekends in a row, I would walk in for what I thought was a short shift, only to find out, whoops, you're here til the end.

The 'final straw' was New Years Eve. I offered to work the short part of the shift (as opposed to being off) because I didn't want to strand any of the guys I work with. I was supposed to come in, work about a 5-8, and be out of there. A third guy was supposed to be in.

Well, I show up and of course, no third guy, and it's just me and the closer. Meaning, I was stuck there til around 10:45, and the wife was too tired to come out at that point. The very next night I walk in to find I was closing. I also received a call that Wednesday to come in (at the last minute) and help out. And I did. I'm a loyal guy, I don't like to see any of my coworkers get screwed.

But New Year's came and I realized: why am I being loyal? I'm being told one thing, then ending up doing another, one requiring far more effort.

And so I'm forced to change my approach. I think that's the toughest thing we sometimes have to do, is change what we are in order to survive. Sure, I could go on being loyal, waiting for some imaginary time when it would all pay off. When I would be recognized for all the sacrifices.

When my father, despite my urgings to the contrary, didn't have health insurance, or a plan for my mom's care when he died, I said I would step up. I did, and it has been the ruin of my financially. But at least I was loyal.

When my law job needed me there, weekends, nights, holidays, and I had to beg off plans, I did. And it has been to my detriment. I even turned down several opportunities to go elsewhere because I wanted to finish what I started and I didn't want to leave my firm in a lurch during the biggest case we had at the time, but now those opportunities are no where to be found. But at least I was loyal.

When my cook job needed me there, weekends, nights, holidays, and I had to beg off plans, I did. And it was to my detriment. But at least I was loyal.

The funny thing about it is 'I.' I was loyal, yet none of the foregoing were very loyal to me in hindsight. So this year, I've decided if I'm fortunate enough to get an opportunity to move elsewhere, I'm taking it, and not looking back. I have no doubt if any of the foregoing needed me gone, they wouldn't hesitate.

So imagine my surprise when my wife mentioned to me last week how the office manager and partner met because they were worried if there was going to be enough work for the attorneys at her firm.

Loyalty indeed. It's a rare, yet dangerous, commodity.

If I have one resolution this year, it is to be loyal to those who deserve that loyalty, because misplaced loyalty can turn out horribly, and often does.

So this year, do unto others before they do unto me. A bit snarky, perhaps, but apparently the other way isn't working. And we grow during times of hardship. I just wish this was one way in which I didn't need to 'grow,' but I guess such comforts are beyond my reach right now.